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Sunday, December 26, 2010

Coping with Chaos

Coping with chaos is hard when you have a cold.
Right now I am trying to recover from a bad cold.
I have set some goals for myself today.
I will take them one step at a time.  Here goes!  :)

Make sure to enjoy a sample of original music from my band Molly and Sonny Boy's newest CD release http://www.cdbaby.com/cd/mollysonnyboy2

Friday, December 3, 2010

A different tack with my blog.


Hi friends and fellow ADD/ADHD bloggers.
I am back!
I have decided to take a different approach with my blog posts.
I still want to be informative, and hopefully entertaining, but I think I am going to share experiences and adventures I have had in applying some of the suggestions I so freely offered you in past blog posts.
I have often found myself a "victim of circumstance," instead of being a goal-setter.
I have dreams and goals and do not reward myself with the "Atta-girl!" or proverbial pat on the head.
Without tracking or rewarding myself for improvements I am not very inspired to change.
There is a saying.

Your life does not get better by chance, it gets better by change.

Peace,
Amy Zents



Make sure to enjoy a sample of original music from my band Molly and Sonny Boy's newest CD release http://www.cdbaby.com/cd/mollysonnyboy2

Friday, July 30, 2010

Home now on ADHD hiatus

You may be wondering where my daily posts are.
I am taking a brief hiatus for now with the daily tips.
Working on getting the house spic 'n span.
You may stay in touch with me through the following

Twitter:
@therealamyzents
or
Facebook
amyzents
or
my daily comic
coleskibble.blogspot.com
or my music studio email
zentsmusicstudio@gmail.com
Peace,
Amy Zents

Make sure to enjoy a sample of original music from my band Molly and Sonny Boy's newest CD release http://www.cdbaby.com/cd/mollysonnyboy2

Friday, July 23, 2010

Daly Tip: At Comic Con so I will blog when I am home


My brush with fame.  Amy and "Colony" Actor George Willis, from the Discovery Channel.
Watch him on Tuesday nights survive in the aftermath of a devastation in New Orleans!

Daly Tip: At Comic Con so I will blog when I am home
Make sure to enjoy a sample of original music from my band Molly and Sonny Boy's newest CD release http://www.cdbaby.com/cd/mollysonnyboy2

Wednesday, July 21, 2010

Getting sleep and my hobby

Make sure to enjoy a sample of my hobby
http://coleskibble.blogspot.com/
At Comic Con..going to sleep!

Monday, July 19, 2010

Daily Tip: Crunch time is when you scrunch time!



Want to be stressed-out?  Then leave everything to the last minute, and run late.
Well, that is what being scrunched is about.  Everyone gets hot and bothered when the countdown is on.
No wonder arguments erupt among couples and kin when there is lots to do and little time to do it in!
So, what can I say?  Those of us with ADD/ADHD must be drama queens and kings.  Perhaps leaving everything to the last minute is just a bad habit, but I doubt it.
So, if it is our nature then you and I must try and do things in a timely manner.   Sad to say, it usually is wishful thinking, since life is so full of distractions.  Nevertheless. just try and get ahead in little ways to make your transitions smoother.
Perhaps you may formulate some good habits, or create your own system of managing your time.
Go forth my fellow attention-poor comrades, and remember when it comes down to crunch-time you know you make miracles happen most of the time, but that is not the best way to accomplish your aims, as you are probably aware.  When frying pans start flying and voices start rising, someone is running late and can't find his things! 
The stirring of the pot often causes it to bubble-over. so please look out!
If you can, plan your day as best you can and do it your way, in the NICK OF TIME!
Peace,
Amy Zents

Make sure to enjoy a sample of original music from my band Molly and Sonny Boy's newest CD release http://www.cdbaby.com/cd/mollysonnyboy2

Sunday, July 18, 2010

Daily Tip: The best way to connect is to be present and respectful!

We all want to have friends, and yet, people are all different.
Some folks want to talk to you about boring stuff, and so we drift away in our heads and do not listen.
The best way to really be present is to find people who talk about stuff you are keen about.
In a perfect world that would be 24/7.
Unfortunately, some unenthusiastic drone may need your help or undivided attention and the best thing to do is remember: this isn't going to last forever, and I'd best show some respect if I want the same in return.
So, be as present as you can with people, and remember: if you want others to show you respect, you must first give it.
Peace,
Amy Zents

Make sure to enjoy a sample of original music from my band Molly and Sonny Boy's newest CD release http://www.cdbaby.com/cd/mollysonnyboy2

Saturday, July 17, 2010

Daily Tip: You can still seem new at 82!

:-) "I want to be young at 82 too!"

(AMY NEVER TELLS HER AGE..)

I was at the Bavarian Blast celebration in New Ulm, MN tonight.
One woman there, who played buttonbox concertina, was wearing a pair of jeans a white shirt with the sleeves rolled up part of the way, nice boots, and short styled and tousled blonde-dyed hair..she looked very similar to the actress who plays the principal on Glee.
This woman told me she was 82, and she didn't look a day over 50!
So, keep young of heart, yodel, play button box accordian, dress hip.
You never know, your lusty enthusiasm for life will keep you young and sexy all the days of your life!

Make sure to enjoy a sample of original music from my band Molly and Sonny Boy's newest CD release http://www.cdbaby.com/cd/mollysonnyboy2

Friday, July 16, 2010

Daily Tip: Wasted time is time wasted.

There are so many times I plan things to do.  I plan, and I plan, I plan and I plan.
But, then the time is gone.
Nothing gets done.
A little secret for you: there are no secrets!
Also, there is planning and doing.
The DOING is just as vital, but often gets obscured and eradicated due to the planning.
What shall I do?
Nike said it best, "JUST DO IT!"
Peace,
Amy Zents


Make sure to enjoy a sample of original music from my band Molly and Sonny Boy's newest CD release http://www.cdbaby.com/cd/mollysonnyboy2

Thursday, July 15, 2010

Daily Tip: The power of the deep breath can save your career.


"Breathing and Relaxing," by Amalia Zents 

BREATHING AND RELAXING

WHEN THE WORLD GETS REALLY TAXING

IS THE WAY TO KEEP YOUR HEAD ON STRAIGHT

FOR THE WORLD WILL OFTEN THROW YOU

WITH THE PROBLEMS IT WILL SHOW YOU

SO YOU'D BETTER MAINTAIN A PROPER STATE! 


Stress sometimes comes in buckets.  Sometimes if feels like everyone wants a piece of you.
You need to stay centred, focused and alert during those times.
You can't be thrown for a loop, especially if you have just been promoted to a higher position.
Others are counting on you, looking up to you, what are you to do?
Well, the first thing you need to do is to be BE PRESENT.
This means get focused, and get set to BREATHE.
I have stressed before in my blog the importance of deep breathing, but sometimes you really need to
exaggerate the inhalation and exhalation to the point of letting go of all the tension in your body.
You need to loosen up and stand fully grounded in your body.
Try it next time you are in a pickle.
You will be calmer if you release the tension, and you will be more open, and wiser with more oxygen to your brain and body.  Just don't get light-headed.
You know what to do.
Calm down, and breathe.  Just breathe.

Make sure to enjoy a sample of original music from my band Molly and Sonny Boy's newest CD release http://www.cdbaby.com/cd/mollysonnyboy2

Wednesday, July 14, 2010

Daily Tip: Fear is evidence of mistrust. Silence can cause trouble.




Fear is evidence of mistrust.  No one likes to feel judged or belittled.
Mind-reading is rare.  Defenses go up.
People need to be aware that the unspoken is more powerful sometimes when nothing is clear.
I found out that along with my ADHD, I have a few problems with trust.  I automatically assume the worst.  And usually I wind up feeling tense and nervous.
I know that QUESTIONS, more than anything put me on the defensive, also, when I need to repeat myself and feel that no one is listening to me when I speak.
Sometimes, I don't listen to others either, so I am getting in return what I dish out.
Nevertheless, along with listening, there has to be understanding.
If I misunderstand the motives of others and there is a riff between us, it only makes life worse.
So, I feel the best way I can work out my fears and mistrust is to be upfront and enquire about the motives of others when they ask me questions.
Some people are naturally curious, or forgetful and need reminders, others are nosey and muckrakers.
The best thing is to assume that others have my interests and well-being at heart, and truly want me to be happy.
I usually err on the side of pessimissm, and this is not good.
Is it my ADHD?  or one of it's accompanying "friends," such as paranoia?
I think, that it may be my past experiences of childhood, as in: "If a child lives with criticism, he (or she) learns to condemn."  I lived with a lot of criticism, and I learned to condemn.  I can stop it.
I choose not to be like the adults I had who poked and prodded me with verbal pains and criticisms.
I don't want to be a jerk like them.  I don't want to hurt others the way they hurt me.
I need to break free from putting other people down, or from assuming others want to keep me from my goals and happiness and are trying to thwart my dreams and desires by their barrage of questions.
It isn't easy to be strong, but I will try, and I will keep believing things will get better if I improve, and get better.  I desire to work on my listening skills, my trust, my communication skills, my faith in those whom I live with and my faith in humanity.
Peace,
Amy Zents

Make sure to enjoy a sample of original music from my band Molly and Sonny Boy's newest CD release http://www.cdbaby.com/cd/mollysonnyboy2

Tuesday, July 13, 2010

Daily tip: to start to listen well you have to close your mouth, open your eyes and nod your head!



Don't be a motor-mouth and not listen.

It is very important to use active listening skills.  It is not enough just to be silent.  In order for others to feel comfortable around somebody with ADD/ADHD the speaker needs to feel his or her words are actually being attended to.
There is nothing as frustrating as trying to communicate with someone that doesn't seem to be paying attention.  If you have ADD/ADHD you may be very quick on the uptake, lacking patience with long-winded people.  The pleasure of conversation is not what you are about.  The pleasure of MONOLOGUE is a bit closer to the truth.
Many times you want people to hurry up and get to the point.
Unfortunately, many people are not fluid communicators and they are slow in transmitting their thoughts and feelings into words.
For those of us who have ADD/ADHD it can be very difficult to communicate in a civilized manner with these types of detail-expounding folks.
However, keep in mind, it is important not to rush people.
People need to feel that they have the time to talk to you.
If you cannot give them the luxury of your full attention, what can you do to deserve their company?
It is important to allow others to speak their piece, and let them take their time, but it is not easy.  In fact, it is a huge challenge!
If you were wondering if people like you, you must ask yourself, "Am I a good listener?" 
Be honest now.
If you sense that people are annoyed with you, do not be surprised if the problem lies in how you listen.
Here is the thing about love, it is spelled t i m e.
That is the price you must pay in order to be a good listener!
I'm very sorry my impatient friends, but that's just the way it is, if you want to have friends that delight in your company!
How to show active listening?
For a start: you have to close your mouth, open your eyes and nod your head!
I'm listening.
Peace,
Amy Zents

Make sure to enjoy a sample of original music from my band Molly and Sonny Boy's newest CD release http://www.cdbaby.com/cd/mollysonnyboy2

Monday, July 12, 2010

Daily Tip: Stay clean and fresh, but keep in mind, the stink of someone's bad mood can easily rub off on you!


Last Monday, I had a bad day at work.  I was overly tired, cranky, critical and grumpy.  Basicaly put, I stank!
Yep.  Today, I did not stink.  I did not have to work and I was able to have a free, clear day with just a couple of music students at the end of the day to top off a pretty successful day at home.
I cleaned the refrigerator as planned and I took a great walk and was able to update all my blogs with gusto, er, not WITH gusto, I did them alone! ;-) 
Anyhoo.  I had an all-around nice day, and then in a way, one way, I did not expect, I let someone's stink on me!
Someone sent me an unpleasant remark to a query I had, and boom! my cheery frame of mind sank into a pile of poop!
My mood got as stinky as the person I encountered in an email note.
I felt wounded and suddenly mad, sad and cranky.
I let her stink settle on me.  It's hard, isn't it?
We don't want other people grumpy.  We want to make others happy.  We want them to respond to us with appreciation and kindness.  When they do not, or we feel they've misunderstood us, or they reply to us in short, terse or rude ways that wound us, we change.
We change from being happy and frisky like a pup going out for a run, into a stinky wet clump of hard, mouldy cheese!
Let's keep their stink off us as best we can!
But how so?
The way I washed off the bad mood was I was able to get myself out of myself by cooking supper for my husband, talking about interesting and fun upcoming events, reading topics of interest online, and overall, changing the subject!
Usually, changing to a good frame of mind (by entertaining uplifting thoughts,) is necessary to reverse a change to the stinky bad. 
Also, the sooner you can get away from the stinkers, the better!
Peace, stay clean and fresh!
Amy Zents


Make sure to enjoy a sample of original music from my band Molly and Sonny Boy's newest CD release http://www.cdbaby.com/cd/mollysonnyboy2

Sunday, July 11, 2010

Daily Tip: Where you are hopefully beats where you've been, so keep on keeping on!

Awareness of ADHD is the first step to coping with it, that is, if you have it.
Find out everything you have because ADHD usually brings with it some "friends," such as OCD and other things as well.
I was surprised to learn Howie Mandel has ADHD, read this article.
(Thanks Hazel, for sending it to me!)
Getting the proper help will hopefully put you on a better level than where you've been.
Sad to say many with ADD/ADHD never get help but often wind up being chain-smoking drunks in their efforts to self-medicate.
Let's hope they find some better ways to live and become survivors.
If you are coping with ADD/ADHD in ways that are beneficial to you, and you have made progress in your life you have a lot to be thankful for.  Most of all, thank yourself.  You made your friends and family happy, and most likely your employer glad as well.
The reason I always stress that you should love yourself is because sweet ADD/ADHD'er is usually the one who winds up putting herself or himself last on the list.
Put your needs, wants and dreams up front, do what it takes to succeed in your life so you can have and be and do everything that will give you power and strength to deal with the changing times.
Be a boon to your parents and those whom you love instead of being a drain.
Become strong, and do not worry about what the others may think if you stop destroying yourself to be a member of their "Ain't it awful" club.
Shine!
Peace,
Amy Zents

Make sure to enjoy a sample of original music from my band Molly and Sonny Boy's newest CD release http://www.cdbaby.com/cd/mollysonnyboy2

Saturday, July 10, 2010

Daily Tip: You need the right stuff, and the "right-list" is infinite!

There's much to be said for a spoonful of sugar making the medicine go down.
You need the right stuff to make your life a lot smoother.

Though all the following don't qualify as "STUFF" per se, the idea that follows is that you need the "right stuff," in the sense that, you NEED WHAT WORKS BEST FOR YOU!
There is the right vacuum cleaner, the right shampoo, the right headphones, the right cell phone (and cell-phone provider,) the right home, the right neighbourhood, the right school, the right family, the right boss, the right pair of pants, the right parents (though you don't have much say in THAT!) the right salary, the right mattress, the right pets, the right gym, the right diet and the right exercise plan.
You also would benefit with the right spouse, the right job, the right-of-way, and right emotions!  
The list of the right stuff you need is INFINITE!
Most of all, you need the right medication, and dosage for your ADD/ADHD or if you don't take meds for your condition, the right guidelines to help you to cope.
So, seek and ye shall (hopefully) find the right stuff, and then take note of it, rinse and repeat.  In other words, keep track of, and celebrate everything right that you own, or have in your life that works for you!

Peace,
Amy Zents

Make sure to enjoy a sample of original music from my band Molly and Sonny Boy's newest CD release http://www.cdbaby.com/cd/mollysonnyboy2

Friday, July 9, 2010

Daily Tip: Sometimes jogging your memory jogs false things to the fore!

Did you ever get in an argument with someone because you thought they said or did something stupid, and then on a later occasion you chanced to bring it up, and trying to correct them, they attacked you saying you don't know what you are saying and that you are totally wrong?
Well, that happened to me, and I thought for sure I was right.
Well, either I am the one confused or I was lied to.
I tend to accept the former.  Sometimes, I think I know what's going on but my attention is half-there, and so I remember faulty information.
So, I suggest for those of us with ADD/ADHD not to put too fine a point on other people's foibles because we certainly have enough of our own!
Peace,
Amy Zents

Make sure to enjoy a sample of original music from my band Molly and Sonny Boy's newest CD release http://www.cdbaby.com/cd/mollysonnyboy2

Thursday, July 8, 2010

Daily Tip: If you have nutty neighbours then be nice as pie!

Do you find people who live nearby trespass on your property and make you angry and mad?
Well, the truth is, the best way to deal with not-so-nice-neighbours is to kill them with kindness.
No matter how much nerve it takes, it is always best to try and be nice to your neighbours.
If their trees are hanging in your yard or their kids are walking in your secluded spot, you may need to say something, but the best thing is to be like a monkey, see no evil, hear no evil, unless of course you find they are vandalizing your property and breaking the law.
Be a good neighbour, and do your best to make nice with all your neighbours.
They are akin to your family.  In a crisis, they matter.
Peace,
Amy Zents

Make sure to enjoy a sample of original music from my band Molly and Sonny Boy's newest CD release http://www.cdbaby.com/cd/mollysonnyboy2

Wednesday, July 7, 2010

Daily Tip: Pets help us to savor the moment.


I am so happy to have 2 healthy young(ish) dogs.
They add a lot of joy to my life.
Even with ADHD and the neediness of my pets for love, attention, walks, water, food and treats, they add a lot of color to my life.
Literally, because each day I showcase the photos I took on my walks with them.
You may see them here.
When pets die we suffer as well.  Their demise at whatever age, even after age 17, or so still causes us heartbreak and also makes us remember that pets lives and our lives don't continue indefinetly.
This is the memorial I did for our dog Sheba.
Here is a video I did for my darling cat Romeo.
It made a lot of people cry.
It made me cry.
Yet, while he was living Romeo was a lover and a sweetie, and enjoyed life thoroughly!
Let us all be appreciative of every breath and every moment.
It is great to enjoy our pets here too.
Peace,
Amy Zents


Make sure to enjoy a sample of original music from my band Molly and Sonny Boy's newest CD release http://www.cdbaby.com/cd/mollysonnyboy2

Tuesday, July 6, 2010

Daily Tip: Children are not to be mocked, or tolerated, but celebrated!


A child will perform from their mind for their coach/teacher, but for a parent they perform from their heart.

 A great deal of kids are running around with little parental attention and appreciation.
People are so busy these days that kids sometimes feel like a fifth wheel.
It's time we take time to show them a kind word, and friendly smile.
Make sure to always treat kids nicely and they will blossom into happy adults.
When people have kids they really are raising future adults.
Still, as kids they are NOT adults and so they need to be handled with care.
For those of us who have ADD/ADHD we may have a lot of kid still in us.
Don't let it slip away!
See what I did with the above photo now:

Just keep having a great attitude, and know your strengths and limitations.
That great example is what all of us needs to ensure a successful life with or without ADD/ADHD!
Peace,
Amy Zents (former kid.)


Make sure to enjoy a sample of original music from my band Molly and Sonny Boy's newest CD release http://www.cdbaby.com/cd/mollysonnyboy2

Monday, July 5, 2010

Daily Tip: You will say things you regret more easily when u go without sleep!


AS a wife, a singer-songwriter, a part-time radio DJ, music teacher and a homemaker/petsownme(er)
I run myself ragged too many times.
It is hard on my body and brain.
Thus, I watch TV into the wee hours for an escape and wind up with a sleep deficit!
Now, I need to be stronger and more vigilant about my sleep.
Everything goes down the toilet when I am tired.
I say things.  Bad things I regret.  Critical, mean, thoughtless things.
Then I feel awful.
So, please read and know.
It may happen to u as well.
Get ur shut-eye and be happy,
Peace,
Amy Zents 
Make sure to enjoy a sample of original music from my band Molly and Sonny Boy's newest CD release http://www.cdbaby.com/cd/mollysonnyboy2

Sunday, July 4, 2010

Daily Tip: A lot more can be done if you have the energy and the proper sleep

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9oZGNqrbbt8



I am really tired.
It was a super active day.
So I will tell you all I did on 8 hours sleep last night.
I went to work, I went to see a concert in the park.  I went for a huge 45 minute walk.  I cleaned.  I drove to another town to see fireworks, I made a salad.
I am going to try to go to bed.
Have to work tomorrow again at the radio station.
Good night.
Amy Zents


Make sure to enjoy a sample of original music from my band Molly and Sonny Boy's newest CD release http://www.cdbaby.com/cd/mollysonnyboy2

Saturday, July 3, 2010

Daily Tip: The best things happen while you're walking!

Kinda makes life interesting when I go walking.

As someone who has ADHD I have a need to move.  I am restless within four walls, and miserable.
The sedentary lifestyle, though an appealing idea to most, has no hold on antsy types like me.
Plus it makes you old, weak and sick fast.
Dogs are great to help the antsy ADHD'er get outdoors and gain healthful exercise to stay young and fit.
There are many other benefits to walking (or hiking, running, speedwalking) that come via the time
one spends in the great outdoors.  The warmer climes that summer brings in these parts makes walking the dogs even more easier, and pleasant to me.
I love to take photographs as well on my walks.  Many times I gain inspiration for my poetry blog, or my daily webcomic.
So walk, and be relieved of many of the stresses and strains our society puts on us through fun, interesting and free exercise.
Have a happy weekend, and keep safe.
Peace,
Amy Zents

Make sure to enjoy a sample of original music from my band Molly and Sonny Boy's newest CD release http://www.cdbaby.com/cd/mollysonnyboy2

Friday, July 2, 2010

Daily Tip: Don't ever play dumb if you are a man or a woman.


One big mistake I do (according to my acting coach and what I have noticed as well,) is I give my power away for approval.
I don't know if that is an ADHD thing, just human nature to be liked, or plain stupidity.
I need to stop playing small.
There is a lovely statement about not playing small.  I hope to take it to heart everytime I feel the urge to be less than I can be to spare someone else's feelings:

Your Playing Small does not Serve the World written by Marianne Williamson


Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate

Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure
It is our light, not our darkness that frightens us
We ask ourselves, who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous,

talented and fabulous?

Actually who are you not to be?

You are a child of God

Your playing small does not serve the world

There’s nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other

people won’t feel insecure around you

We are born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us

It’s not just in some of us; it’s in everyone

And as we let our own light shine we unconsciously give

other people the right to do the same

As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence

automatically liberates others.

*********************************

So, don't worry about what others think or feel when it comes to shining and being your best.
It helps us all.
Peace,
Amy Z.
__________________



Make sure to enjoy a sample of original music from my band Molly and Sonny Boy's newest CD release http://www.cdbaby.com/cd/mollysonnyboy2

Thursday, July 1, 2010

Daily Tip: Take the Garbage out even if u r not Sara Cynthia Sylvia Stout!


*What has 4 wheels and flies?  A garbage truck!!

It's Thursday morning.  Ev'ry Thursday morning the dump truck comes to collect the garbage, and ev'ry Thursday morning I find myself crazily scrambling to get the garbage to the corner and usually finding myself in a tizzy.
Nevertheless, it is important to take out the garbage for many reasons, especially so that it gets carted away and doesn't have to wait a week to get collected.
I will need to post a reminder on my Google calender on Wednesdays.  Thursdays comes so soon!
Why remove your garbage from your living environment?
Let's enjoy Shel Silverstein's reasons in:
"Sara Cynthia Sylvia Stout
Would not take the garbage out!"
(The video of the author reading this poem is at the bottom of this post!)
Shel Silverstein, 1974

Sara Cynthia Sylvia Stout


Would not take the garbage out!


She'd scour the pots and scrape the pans,


Candy the yams and spice the hams,


And though her daddy would scream and shout,


She simply would not take the garbage out.


And so it piled up to the ceilings:


Coffee grounds, potato peelings,


Brown bananas, rotten peas,


Chunks of sour cottage cheese.


It filled the can, it covered the floor,


It cracked the window and blocked the door


With bacon rinds and chicken bones,


Drippy ends of ice cream cones,


Prune pits, peach pits, orange peel,


Gloppy glumps of cold oatmeal,


Pizza crusts and withered greens,


Soggy beans and tangerines,


Crusts of black burned buttered toast,


Gristly bits of beefy roasts. . .


The garbage rolled on down the hall,


It raised the roof, it broke the wall. . .


Greasy napkins, cookie crumbs,


Globs of gooey bubble gum,


Cellophane from green baloney,


Rubbery blubbery macaroni,


Peanut butter, caked and dry,


Curdled milk and crusts of pie,


Moldy melons, dried-up mustard,


Eggshells mixed with lemon custard,


Cold french fried and rancid meat,


Yellow lumps of Cream of Wheat.


At last the garbage reached so high


That it finally touched the sky.


And all the neighbors moved away,


And none of her friends would come to play.


And finally Sara Cynthia Stout said,


"OK, I'll take the garbage out!"


But then, of course, it was too late. . .


The garbage reached across the state,


From New York to the Golden Gate.


And there, in the garbage she did hate,


Poor Sarah met an awful fate,


That I cannot now relate


Because the hour is much too late.


But children, remember Sara Stout


And always take the garbage out!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tvNhhEtUGJY


PS.  I am happy to relate that after posting this the Garbage truck was 2 doors down, and I was able to get the garbage out, just in the nick of time, to be collected by the sanitary engineers today!!!


Make sure to enjoy a sample of original music from my band Molly and Sonny Boy's newest CD release http://www.cdbaby.com/cd/mollysonnyboy2

Wednesday, June 30, 2010

Daily Tip: Happy #smday, but don't let social media ruin your life!

The successful person is the average person, focused. ~Anonymous
Many folks and not just those of us with ADD/ADHD are prone to having our bums glued to the chairs in front of our PC's or laptops for hours on end socializing with others we may or may not be friends with.

I found a couple of interesting articles online regarding social media, Facebook and relationships.
    You can check these out and see what you think.

Divorce Lawyers: Facebook Tops in Online Evidence
http://abcnews.go.com/Technology/wireStory?id=11037017

and
Facebook doesn't cause divorce — spouses do!
It's fun to blame a social network for our ills, but really it's just a tool
http://today.msnbc.msn.com/id/38004832/

The Simpsons showed Bart pretending to be a lonely middle-aged housewife flirting with a loser online. Lonely people may be gullible, children are also at risk. 
Everyone should protect their identity, and not reveal too much that might harm them. 
Don't be gullible, and be careful about doing business online, as well as dating online.
Thomas Jefferson is quoted as saying, "Honesty is the first chapter in the book of wisdom." 
With so many bloggers and tweeters pretending to be everyone from Britney Spears, to Ashton Kutcher, be wary online and stay safe.
Peace,
Amy Zents


Make sure to enjoy a sample of original music from my band Molly and Sonny Boy's newest CD release http://www.cdbaby.com/cd/mollysonnyboy2

Tuesday, June 29, 2010

Daily Tip: No Kidding! The Comeback Kid is always a winner! or There would be no AFTER, if there were no Before


The Comeback Kid is always a winner! or There would be no AFTER, if there were no Before!

I think I am a fan of "Fractured Fairy Tales," by looking at the headings of my blog postings lately!  Remember FFT on the Rocky and Bullwinkle Show?
I loved watching Fractured Fairy Tales!
Now, what is my point about the Comeback Kid?
Well, with ADD/ADHD the biggest room in the world we have, is the ROOM FOR IMPROVEMENT!
There are so many tasks we fall behind on, forget to do, or basically overlook due to poor memories, poor motivation and overall poor self-control!
So, what one thing is it you think you want to focus on doing this week?
My one thing is to really clean the kitchen!
And next week it is the dining room.
I was halfway through giving the kitchen a good clean up, and on the way to organizing it, when I got distracted by a hundred other things in life, and now I need to get back on track.
Really, there are SO MANY THINGS I HAVE TO DO! 
It is literally mind-boggling!
But, I must start in one corner and that corner is the kitchen.
So, I have given myself until Friday to do it.
Have a great one!
Amy Zents

Make sure to enjoy a sample of original music from my band Molly and Sonny Boy's newest CD release http://www.cdbaby.com/cd/mollysonnyboy2

Monday, June 28, 2010

Daily Tip: Do not regret growing older, or every day above ground is a good one!



Do not regret growing older. It is a privilege denied to many. ~Author Unknown

Glad to have survived coming home in a very bad storm.
Twisters were spotted in the area we were driving through on Saturday night, and I was terrified, but elated when we finally arrived home!
You can hear the rain, and see the lightening and experience a little of what I went through.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TAxsNUPzukU



Love life, and no matter how you may feel about time, aging, or problems, being alive beats the alternative, and you can really appreciate so much of life if you keep this in mind.

Remember not to sweat the big or small stuff.  Live life and celebrate every breath you take.
Peace,
Amy Zents




Make sure to enjoy a sample of original music from my band Molly and Sonny Boy's newest CD release http://www.cdbaby.com/cd/mollysonnyboy2

Sunday, June 27, 2010

Daily Tip: Save steps, save time, clean up after yourself!


Summertime means more time to play outdoors, so why be stuck inside playing catch-up?  Clean up as you go, by no means an easy task, but try already! and save those indoor distractions 'til after the sun goes down!
Have a wonderful week!
Amy Zents

Make sure to enjoy a sample of original music from my band Molly and Sonny Boy's newest CD release http://www.cdbaby.com/cd/mollysonnyboy2

Saturday, June 26, 2010

Daily Tip: If you have to do something you have to do, then just do it and don't make everyone else suffer.

There are trials and tribulations in everyone's life.  When the weather gets bad we radio DJ's have to leave the comfort of our little nests and go into the station and spend a few more of our precious free hours back at it, on-air, informing and updating the world about what is happening with the weather.
I used to balk at it, and now I just do it.  I know how important it is for people to be safe in violent and severe weather.
So, if you have a job to do.  Do it.  Get it done with and be glad of it.
Life can be hard, but everyone's gotta do stuff they don't want to do, but (they know they) have to do sometimes, or be out on their ear!  It is better to do it cheerfully and make others feel ok, instead of bragging and bringing everyone down with a bad attitude!
Peace, and carrots,  ;-)
Amy

Make sure to enjoy a sample of original music from my band Molly and Sonny Boy's newest CD release http://www.cdbaby.com/cd/mollysonnyboy2

Friday, June 25, 2010

Daily Tip: Things always revert back to bad if you don't keep up your end


Sad to say after 2 weeks of clean kitchen bliss, the kitchen is now a pigsty once again!
I have been really busy lately with work - my husband too.
Now I have my work cut out for me on a Friday night.
Clean the kitchen sink.
Here is a parody cynically-styled song I created about just that.  Enjoy it you with the clean sinks and polished countertops, and those like me, who have to wade through messes!!!

I wound up doing the dishes tonight..yay!  (well, most of them!)


Have a wonderful weekend!
Peace,
Amy Zents
Make sure to enjoy a sample of original music from my band Molly and Sonny Boy's newest CD release http://www.cdbaby.com/cd/mollysonnyboy2

Thursday, June 24, 2010

Daily tip: It's easier to be sold, than to sell, but, sell you must to stay in business!

"Would I buy me if I were you?"

I just did a concert in German park.  My band is Molly and Sonny Boy.  My husband and moi.
http://www.mollyandsonnyboy.com/

See video:  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5Df_fDs2Ao8


Ok.  Why could I NOT promote myself on the radio with gusto?
I should be able to, because I am a radio personality!
Well, my boss, a Marconi-award nominated Radio Jock, who has his own Morning Show, and I got something funny out of it for all the staff to hear.
I said, "Brian, I can't plug myself on the air!" and he said, "Why not?"
I said, "I want YOU to plug me!"  Well, they all got a chuckle out of that one!
No, seriously, everyone is selling.  It may take more than a little confidence for those of us with ADHD/ADD to sell ourselves, but we need to be schmoozers and ply our trades to world with finesse.
It is hard, but we have to sell ourselves.  Our product must be packaged nicely, and not stink or be dirty.
Our personality must shine with beauty and politeness, being kind with every word, look and gesture.
The best rule of thumb?
Ask yourself:
Do I like what I see in the mirror?
Would I want to "buy" me?
If your answer is affirmative, you probably are a good seller of yourself and your products, and passions.
So, sell! sell! sell!  Which translates into "get what you want out of life!"
It is the name of the game, and not manipulative, if you realize we are all in this selling game together.
Some times we judge things not worthy of buying, and other times we hog what we love and buy it as quickly as we see it.
So, if you want to play the game of life right, you may consider brushing up on selling.
It's part courtesy, etiquette and manners, and part choice.  Dream big dreams and get the right things for you because you can, and should be happy.
Peace,
Amy Zents

Make sure to enjoy a sample of original music from my band Molly and Sonny Boy's newest CD release http://www.cdbaby.com/cd/mollysonnyboy2

Wednesday, June 23, 2010

Daily Tip: Don't be a "Pin Prick." Remember you don't have to be bosum buddies with everyone, but you DO share the planet.


Don't let your prejudices blind you to the immense commonality you share with your fellow human beings.  Why?  We all share the same planet earth.  We all breath, eat and sleep.
Sadly, when people find out that you may hate football, soccer, eating fatty foods, or watching TV, they may think you are nuts!  Not only that, that may hurt your career advancement, and social prospects!
They may hurt you at work or cut you down in private.  They may make you feel stupid.
But why be a pariah to the world?
Because it is in the nature of humans to want to join in common likes and dislikes.
When people fail to share things in common, they often act immature and foolish, hurting and harming others through gossip, backstabbing, backbiting and cruel personal remarks.
How do we overcome these "pin pricks," and avoid becoming one?
Be kind to each other.  Do little things to help each other, and keep open-minded, and generous of spirit.
If you can overlook the obvious differences in attire, speech, tastes and attitudes of others, and look beneath the surface knowing that "the right thing to do is always right," you can make huge strides in being loved and popular.
You can look at superstars, and world leaders who practice diplomacy.
It works to warm people up with words of warmth.  Not cold, harsh, accusing stares.
What if you act nice, and people react to you with crap?
Don't give up.  Just keep on smiling and being very polite, doing your best, and being hopeful that your being a good person will eventually wear them down, or else get out of that lousy place if you are being discriminated against or feeling abused.  If that is not possible, you may want to talk to your immediate supervisor, and if that doesn't make any difference, then perhaps you need to find a place where people are like you.
Like attracts like.  You will find that as much as you want to bond with different folks, their natural tendancies will be to always congregate with people of like stripe.
Until next time, be kind to each other, love yourself, follow your own preferences, and if folks don't like you even though you are kind to them, don't lose heart.  Always keep believing, "You are great," and "you are loved."
Peace,
Amy Zents


Make sure to enjoy a sample of original music from my band Molly and Sonny Boy's newest CD release http://www.cdbaby.com/cd/mollysonnyboy2

Tuesday, June 22, 2010

Daily Tip: There's a different law when you are on the road. Do not fail to yield and always drive defensively!



There have been so many tragic car accidents reported in the news today.  There have been many vehicular homicides from drunk drivers, sleepy drivers, lazy drivers and crazy drivers.
All so tragic.  What's worse is when you find out later on, that the charges against the "murdering driver-survivors," are minimal.  After posting some bail, many of these jerks are out of jail in no time.
What about the families of the innocent?  How are they to cope?  What about the innocent murdered victims?  One wonders, is justice really being served?
It seems there is a different law when you are out on the road.
When people murder others in domestic abuse, or premeditated murders or in assisinations there seems to be a lot more punishment handed out.
But when bad drivers kill innocent people on the highway, there hardly seems to be any repercussions.  Here is a true story that happened last Friday.

MANKATO — A Kasota man on a motorcycle died Friday after a collision with a semi on Mankato’s Third Avenue, according to the State Patrol.

Ray John Timp, 70, was driving north when he collided with a southbound semi making a left turn at Summit Avenue at about 1:20 p.m. Timp was wearing a helmet.
The semi was driven by 33-year-old Jeremie Lutteke of Wells.
The State Patrol report lists the accident as a “broadside” and does not indicate if a citation was issued.

Yet another totally innocent motorcycle rider killed by a criminally negligent truck driver. Look at the accident scene. Straight road, clear vision. The truck driver obviously intentionally ignored the cycle’s right of way, as these jerks so often do. He should wind up serving years in jail, and whoever he was working for should have their ass seriously sued.  But none of that will happen, as we apparently have different rules for people who kill on the highway.

So, if you are eager to travel the highways, and bi-ways, please buckle up, be a defensive driver, and watch out for others as well!

Peace,
Amy Zents


Make sure to enjoy a sample of original music from my band Molly and Sonny Boy's newest CD release http://www.cdbaby.com/cd/mollysonnyboy2

Monday, June 21, 2010

Daily Tip: Stay warmed in heart, mind and body. Walk.

I keep a walking blog.  It is a way for me to stay on track.
If you need a way to unwind, one simple, easy way is walking.
I listen to oldtime radio plays and my dogs walk with me,
I generally notice a marked improvement in my mood.
The walks act as a mood enhancer, and also a fat burner.
Walk every day, and stay warmed in heart, mind and body.


Make sure to enjoy a sample of original music from my band Molly and Sonny Boy's newest CD release http://www.cdbaby.com/cd/mollysonnyboy2

Sunday, June 20, 2010

Daily tip: Just because you have found a love partner does not mean now you will be obese.

Queen, the band, sang, "Find me somebody to love."
Perhaps you had the good fortune of finding somebody to love.
Does this mean there goes your exercise program and now you will shop the fatso fashion line?
Well, what are you doing?
If you and your honey are busy dancing, eating lean protein and lots of fresh veggies, getting jiggy and staying active, you will be fine.
However, if Pizza is your pal and beer your bosom buddy you may be in for a shocker, and fat pants.
So, take your time, make up your mind.
You wanna stay sexy?
Keep on moving and grooving, even with your new life partner and you'll be great.
If you have ADD/ADHD remember those meds have slimming properties, so don't skip them either.
Peace,
Amy Zents

Make sure to enjoy a sample of original music from my band Molly and Sonny Boy's newest CD release http://www.cdbaby.com/cd/mollysonnyboy2

Saturday, June 19, 2010

Daily Tip: Our friend and foe is Time. Guard your time, since it is your life!

"For every minute spent in organizing, an hour is earned.”

Men talk of killing time, while time quietly kills them. ~Dion Boucicault

"Time is more valuable than money. You can get more money, but you cannot get more time.”

Time goes, you say? Ah no!
Alas, Time stays, we go. ~Henry Austin Dobson

Some things we own and do, rob us of our time.  Since they say, time is life, perhaps it is wise to prevent these time killers from swallowing up our life.
It pays to take time to think about the electronic devices, interruptions and distractions that keep us from enjoying our time here on earth.  There is the TV, a sendentary escape.  The computer, a mezmerizing offender.  The telephone, an alluring diversion. 
For me it's shopping and eating.
I know.  Everyone has their vices.  You can spend your life doing whatever you feel like.
It's your life.  However, think about your long-term goal.  How do you want to see yourself a few years from now?
Do you want to be a couch potato, and join the masses of the obese living a sedentary life?
Do you want to feel vital, alive and fit and full of vigor a few years from now?
It all depends on what you do with your time today!
Regardless of what we do, the sad fact is time marches on.
Let's think about the killer time, and it's minions, electronic and time-gobbling distractions.  Let's examine and decide how to manage ourselves with the things, or activities that rob us of what is so precious, and cannot be bought back with silver or gold, that is, our friend and foe, Time.
Peace,
Amy Zents

Make sure to enjoy a sample of original music from my band Molly and Sonny Boy's newest CD release http://www.cdbaby.com/cd/mollysonnyboy2

Friday, June 18, 2010

Daily Tip: the superslim superstars know a key to trimness is an active lifestyle!

Do you need to trim down some?
Here is the solution I have found, from recent personal experience.
Although I am not a superslim superstar, I have tried to follow their formula for getting trim and maintaining the benefits I have reaped so far.
I've been trying to keep really busy by walkingeating salads, cleaning the house, writing poetry, creating my daily PicSay Comic, updating my fashion blog, being a radio DJteaching music and posting links on Twitter , catching up with others on face book and posting photos on Twitgoo.
Most of all, I've been trying to use my sound alarm clock (the roar of the seaside,) to go to sleep.  I have also been turning the TV off, and not drinking tea before bed so as to get a good night's sleep.
The results are, since 2 weeks ago, I have trimmed from a size 14 to a size 12!
To summarzie:
Stay active, get good sleep, exercise, and eat healthy. 
The result?  Feel better than ever!
Although, because of my ADHD, I still have a huge room for improvement with personal organization, network building, staying in touch with family and friends, being less anxious about junk, and trying to cut back on eating junk food, I think that getting proper sleep and exercise has been a big stress-reducer. 
Also, I've found keeping busy and eating more healthy foods helps me feel less sluggish.
Less TV-watching gets me off my butt, therefore reducing the fat-load on my bod because I used to always eat a lot in front of the telly.
Therefore, like all the superslim superstars know: Get busy and Get happy!
Peace,
Amy Z


Make sure to enjoy a sample of original music from my band Molly and Sonny Boy's newest CD release http://www.cdbaby.com/cd/mollysonnyboy2

Thursday, June 17, 2010

Daily Tip: Sleep baby, sleep! with a good breathing technique

Relax before sleep?

How do you do that?

The topic of good sleep is a vast one, but today I will address one method of helping you relax to get to sleep, so that you will function better in every aspect of your life because you have more energy and got your proper sleep.
Some people advocate that listening to music is the key to their falling asleep.  For some that works.
However, many musicians will say it's hard to listen to the genre of music they generally play, to help get themselves to drift off to sleep, because they find they are analyzing the music and thinking, and that keeps them awake!
Well, musicians and others might try a different tact
The method that is prominent and beneficial is using your diaphragmatic muscles to relax in a method of breathing called Diaphramatic breathing.
Dancers, singers, athletes, dancers and yoga gurus are taught the importance of it, but maybe they don't practice it as much as they should anymore.
If you don't, here is a link to tell you more about it.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Diaphragmatic_breathing
Follow the method outlined, and see if you sleep better.
Peace,
Amy Zents

Make sure to enjoy a sample of original music from my band Molly and Sonny Boy's newest CD release http://www.cdbaby.com/cd/mollysonnyboy2

Wednesday, June 16, 2010

Daily Tip: Enjoy better living through Modern Conveniences! Today's M.C. (Modern Convenience) is The Dishwasher

One of the biggest stressors for someone like me with the ADHD disability is the inability and
unwillingness to clean the kitchen after cooking and eating.

All I can say is Thank Heaven! for the electric DISHWASHER!

I try, and I try to keep a clean kitchen sink, and try as I might, the dishes stack up. Day in and day out I used to stand helplessly by as I watched the dirty dishes pile up rapidly in my kitchen sinks and on the surrounding countertops.

How quickly the used and dirty dishes convened in crusty assemblage! It never ceased to amaze me at their ability to multiply and proliferate all over the house.

However, one little bright spot in the whole scheme of things is this.
I discovered how I should rely more often on my wonderful dishwasher.
I have begun to use it daily to prevent all the dirty dishes from going crazy and overflowing on my countertops, and filling up the sinks.

Now, after each meal is over, I make it my mission and ritual to soak those culprit dishes in warm soapy water and place them in the dishwasher.

When the dishwasher has finished washing the dirt off the dishes, and is sitting full of clean dishes, I remove the clean ones right away, or as soon as I can, so as to make room for the new DIRTY dishes.I have mantained this routine for 3 days so far.

I cleaned my counter tops magnificently last weekend, and now I am enjoying (for the first time in forever) the pleasure of simply clean countertops, and clean, empty kitchen sinks.
The dishes are either in their homes (the cubboards, and drawers) all clean and sparkly, or they are awaiting a good wash in the dishwasher.

Once again, thank goodness for the modern convenience of the dishwasher.

I never had one when I grew up. We 3 kids moaned and groaned and played checkers to see who would wind up having to help mum with the dishes.
My mum used to say, "I have 4 dishwashers (my mum, my sister, my brother and myself) and ONLY ONE WORKS!

Well, now I am in her shoes. Thankfully, along with the Yellow Dishwashing gloves, and dishwashing liquid, I have a real honest-to-goodness electric dishwasher that works!

But, I must too must work to do my part.  I need to work along side it to maintain it, cleaning it out periodically, and maintaining it in good functioning condition.
And I must make sure the dishes all get put away when they have finished being cleaned in dishwasher!
You may or may not suffer from ADD/ADHD,  but always remember, there are many modern conveniences out there to help make housework and chores easier, and although we may not all have the money for them, we can certainly try and use the conveniences we DO own to make our lives easier.
If we develop good habits, along with utilizing the modern conveniences that are available to us, we will make our lives a lot more relaxing and manageable as well.
Peace,
Amy Zents
Make sure to enjoy a sample of original music from my band Molly and Sonny Boy's newest CD release http://www.cdbaby.com/cd/mollysonnyboy2

Tuesday, June 15, 2010

Daily Tip: Sometimes you need a few peanut M&M's before you must do the thing you think you cannot do.


"At some stages of your life you will deal with things and at others you are overwhelmed with misery and anxiety." ~ Nigella Lawson

There are days in the life of all people and not just those of us with ADD/ADHD when we feel overwhelmed with all the things we have to do.
It can stress one to the max.
Although I am not a big advocate of using food as a drug to relieve stress, I do think on occassion, in order to get the impetus to continue and the strength to move on, one could use a little pick-me-up.
Yesterday afternoon, during an intense housekeeping moment, I had such a taste treat in the form of a tiny bag of Peanut M&M's.
It was like a mini taste-vacation.
It helped me to carry on.
When the going gets tough, do yourself a favor, and find something that makes you feel a little less stressed.
It may be a refreshing drink of water, stepping outside for a breath of fresh air, a phone-call to a friend or maybe a taste treat that transports you for a brief time, and makes you smile with pleasure and delight before you must do the thing you think you cannot do.
Peace,
Amy Zents

Make sure to enjoy a sample of original music from my band Molly and Sonny Boy's newest CD release http://www.cdbaby.com/cd/mollysonnyboy2

Monday, June 14, 2010

Daily Tip: Do what you have to do to make it through.


“Patience is the ability to idle your motor when you feel like stripping your gears.”~ Barbara Johnson

Most of life is work.  Sucky, yucky work.  If you have ADD/ADHD it can be dreadful to get up each morning and think about all the distasteful tasks there are to do.
Don't dwell on how awful it is to do them.
Make your daily list of mandatory tasks, and go about doing the good and not so good suff you have to do.
Then take a break and relax.
Focus on all the things you love and remember:
You did what you had to do, and you made it through.
You are a winner!
Peace,
Amy Zents

Make sure to enjoy a sample of original music from my band Molly and Sonny Boy's newest CD release http://www.cdbaby.com/cd/mollysonnyboy2

Sunday, June 13, 2010

Daily Tip: A vengeful person is always going to find themselves in a fight.


Be patient and understanding. Life is too short to be vengeful or malicious. ~ Phillips Brooks

There are some folks who always want to fight.  If you saw the movie "V for Vendetta" the lead character V, sought vengeance until he was killed in his fight for "justice."
He had just cause for wanting to murder all those who unjustly imprisoned and tortured him.  But, he was a vigilante and took the law in his own hands.  He conspired to kill everyone who hurt him, leading to his eliminating even the repentant Doctor, even after he listened to her apology and her side of the story.  She knew he would come to kill her, and he did.
Most of us would empathize with V.  He lost everything but his life.  His body was burned and disfigured from top to toe, and he always had to be masked.  You pitied V, but still he was a monster!
If we practiced vengeance in our everyday life for every petty grievance others have caused us, we would wind up in a constant struggle with those who push back.  We might even lose more than our good reputation.
No one likes it when others hurt them.  The tendancy is to strike back.  That is not always the wisest thing to do.  Arrogance and meanness can only attract more of the same.
Peace and mercy are hallmarks of humane behaviors.  We can be good to those who offend and try to hurt us by being patient and understanding. 
We can also stand up for ourselves, and seek a helping hand from those who love us.
Let us be hopeful that the pain and sadness others may cause us will eventually be avenged, not by us, but by life. 
While there may not be "Instant Karma," like we might wish there would be, there is the dictum, "You reap what you sow," and that old saw, "What goes around, comes around."
The facts are, if someone is mean and selfish, you learned a lesson. 
Keep away from them!  Also, it's up to you to protect yourself from those who would jerk you around, if you can, though this is not always easy.
If you have ADD/ADHD you are particulary vulnerable to attack, so put up your guard, thicken your skin, look for those who can protect you and inspire you to be careful in social and emotional situations. 
Watch what you say and don't trust everyone, especially if you suspect they are two-faced, or don't have your best interests at heart.
If you make a mistake, you can admit it.  If you are wrongly accused, DON'T ADMIT GUILT so that others can point at you and wrongly accuse you some more.  Instead, stand up for yourself.  Take the high road, and be wise, or talk to an advisor whom you trust.  Straighten matters out before they get worse.
Remember, we all hurt each other at one time or another, but if our intention is toward reconciliation there is hope.  If there is no forgiveness, there is no hope.
Be kind to each other.
Peace,
Amy Zents
If we practice an eye for an eye and a tooth for a tooth, soon the whole world will be blind and toothless. -Mahatma Gandhi

Make sure to enjoy a sample of original music from my band Molly and Sonny Boy's newest CD release http://www.cdbaby.com/cd/mollysonnyboy2

Saturday, June 12, 2010

Daily Tip: Love thy neighbour as oneself? Most people act as though they hate themselves thus zero love of their neighbour.

I was listening to Philip Marlowe private eye, on Old-time radio in an episode called the Good Neighbour Policy.  The people in an apartment flat were quite unacquainted with each other although they shared the same utilities.
How do you love your neighbour as yourself if you act as though you hate yourself and wish you could runaway from all the stressful people in your life?
Do you treat them in the same vile, wicked-tempered way you think of or treat yourself?
Do they deserve that?  Do you?
Some people utterly despise themselves and that self-disgust often makes them haters of others too.  (If the definition of hate is "to love less.")  They literally love their neighbour about as much as they love themselves which amounts to about zero love.
Especially if they have ADD/ADHD, and yet they are ashamed to admit their self-loathing and their buried resentment of others, even to themselves.  They often make nice in public, but truthfully wish they could runaway from everyone and everything that makes them feel put-down, frustrated and irritated.
As for treating others with contempt, well, there is secret blame, and when thinking of all the injustices it is easy to feel sorry for oneself.  Remember what I always say, "Self-pity is a downward spiral and the first step to failure."  Keep away from Self-Pity!  Avoid it like the plague that it is!
(I learned SELF-PITY is a big factor in most suicides.  Many call suicide, "the cowards way out.") 
You and I can be brave and face our challenges, yet try as we might to understand our troubles, it can be hard to give others their due respect or to even respect ourselves because of all of our personal misgivings, (the fact we can't find a pair of clean underwear!) and the mirror of our faults by those around us.  Others make us feel small, and we beat ourselves up on top of it.  A double-spanking!
There is no use for self-pity.
It's time to forgive, love and take care of yourself.  You may need to do this before you can even begin to love thy neighbour!
You CAN change.  You CAN get help!  You can make YOU happy.
I have to admit, I find it hard to take care of myself, much less those whom I love.
Therefore, I am trying a little more self-honesty in regards to my weaknesses (i.e. personal organization, holding my tongue, etc.)
Also, I will try and accept help from others, I will stand up for myself, and for my spouse, and in the long run for love of my neighbour.
The Internet has huge amounts of accurate information on improving one's perceived weaknesses that accompany ADD/ADHD, and you need to tap those resources, but first look at yourself in all honesty and truth and ask yourself, WHAT IS HOLDING ME BACK?
When you overcome your short-comings a little at a time you will learn to love yourself more, and then you will be able to love those around you better as well too.  And who knows, maybe they will love you back in ways you never thought of, such as, inviting you to parties, and becoming your real friend.
Peace,
Amy Zents


Make sure to enjoy a sample of original music from my band Molly and Sonny Boy's newest CD release http://www.cdbaby.com/cd/mollysonnyboy2

Friday, June 11, 2010

Daily Tip: Imperfections are part of being a perfectionist, or Perfectionism is a double-edged dagger!



The pursuit of perfection, then, is the pursuit of sweetness and light. ~Matthew Arnold

Happy Friday friend!
One thing I have discovered in my ADHD journey to self-fulfillment and a semblance of sanity in this life is this:  I am a perfectionist.
Say what????
How can someone who loses her car keys, procrastinates prolifically, attracts clutter like hair on a moose, loses every pen, pencil and paper that comes her way be a perfectionist?
Easy.  I love perfection.
When I teach music, I want to be thorough.  When I work for an employer, I want to do right.  When I learn something, I want to learn everything about it.  When I am keen on an idea, a fashion, a place, a person, I want to soak it all in and revel in my newfound passion.  I hunger for excitement and novelty, bells and whistles, gadgets and gee-gaws, newness and sparkle!
I am the impulsive shopper, the wide-eyed kid in life's candy store, the sucker born ev'ry minute.
Which for many ADD/ADHD'er's is the addictive property of the disability.
How can one resist all the wonderful attractions that life has to offer?
Sadly, the downside of a voracious appetite for various interests is that I cannot process everything in an organized and timely fashion, so life becomes one big jumble of stimulations and distractions, plus lots and lots of neglected collections and piles of stuff.
Nevertheless, one of the hallmarks of procrastinators is perfectionism.  Another one, believe it or not, is humility.  Perfectionists want to excel to please their audiences!
Momma and society drove into us the gist of this song, "If you're gonna do it, do it right!" 
So, like most Weight Watcher attendees, procrastinators begin new projects and goals with high hopes, and when they meet with frustrating circumstances, they either throw in the towel, or they quit at the starting block.  How perfect is that?  Not very.
High standards and expectations often trip us up, and life can be so overwhelming!
In my opinion it is OK to be a "perfectionist."
Sometimes we score big because of it.  We get the dream job, the dream husband, la creme de la creme, and our big dreams actually come true because we dreamt them!
When we fail, we can comfort ourselves with the thought that at least our intentions were honorable.
The truth is, I love perfectionists. 
Yes, the perfectionist is someone special to me, as long as it is someone I admire and look up to for inspiration, and NOT for criticism, or a salary.
Working FOR a perfectionist is a whole different subject altogether.
I can't march to the beat of someone else's perfectionism.  Sorry.  That just doesn't work.
One is wise to be aware that perfectionism is enhanced when it is tempered with realism. 
It is wise at times for the perfectionist to let go a little at times with family members and friends, or else risk the alienation of others and wind up disgusted with oneself.
If you are a magnificent chef, artist, singer, dancer, photographer, doctor, teacher, programmer, or whatever occupation you find you excel in, there is no harm in aspiring to perfection, or being a perfectionist.  Bravo!  You are blessing the world with a service that is incomparable to the mediocrity most experience every day. 
So don't be half-hearted in whatever you are doing, and don't be down-hearted if you find perfectionism keeps you irritated and unsettled.  If you can avoid projecting your perfectionism on others they will love you for it.  None of us wants to be under the gun of a perfectionist.  Also, perhaps you might consider striving for the middle ground to stay sane and happy, and if you find perfection cripples you, try lowering your standards a little, doing your best to begin where you are, with what you've got right now so as not to be paralyzed by fear of failure.
Remember, you can't finish something you haven't started.
So, go ahead and dream big, be perfect, (or be imperfect, ) if necessary. 
Do whatever it takes to assist you towards what you aspire to accomplishing.
I hope you feel better about your search for excellence.
Perfectionism is a double-edged dagger!
Keep doing all you can to love yourself.
You are perfect when you know imperfections are a part of being a perfectionist!
Have a wonderful, and perfect weekend!
Peace,
Amy Zents

Make sure to enjoy a sample of original music from my band Molly and Sonny Boy's newest CD release http://www.cdbaby.com/cd/mollysonnyboy2