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Thursday, June 3, 2010

Daily Tip: Talking comes by nature, silence by wisdom.

A lot of people who are diagnosed with ADD/ADHD are extremely talkative.  In fact, sometimes words come flying out their mouths without any forethought put into the words, and then words not meant to be spoken are uttered. 
I know for a certainty my ADHD has caused me to say things which I have later regretted.
More often than not, it is concerning a topic I know best.  Myself.
So, I will disclose T.M.I (too much information,) about myself, and I will be the one at the disadvantage.
I used to monologue a lot.  The listener would open their eyes wide with horror, as I stumbled for words to describe everything in my life all in one visit.
Needless to say, it turned people off.
A conversation is not an interruption.
Was it me clamoring for attention, was the talkativeness nerves, or did I feel insecure and feel the need to prove something?  I don't know.
Nowadays, I try and avoid it.  Also, I try to avoid being with those people who make me feel I have to disclose everything to them. 
There are inquisitive types who are always trolling for juicy gossip.  I don't indulge them.
A large part of controlling my talking has to do with having a husband I truly respect and confide in.
I can confide in him first, and then edit what I want to tell others.
Also, knowing the ADHD is a factor in making me an impulsive talker is a help.
Even now, when my emotions get excited and I feel I have to tell everything, I remind myself, I DON'T HAVE TO TELL EVERYTHING!
I have been burned by people in the past by my talking too much.  Especially when going through a divorce, and when dealing with lawyers.
It seems some people feel when you tell them everything about you, they can take full advantage of you and your weaknesses, and they can use you for their own interests.  They can hurt you a lot as well, teasing you and telling other people your faults.  The sad fact is, they are hurting you with information you have so generously and freely given them! 
After all, they might think: "I paid the price for this.  I listened to your mindless chatter."
If you sense people don't want to listen to you, and arn't sincerely interested in you, walk away, YOU DON'T NEED THEM.
You are not a kid in grade school now, and you don't need to explain to Mommy or any authority-figure what you have been up to.
NEVER COMPLAIN, NEVER EXPLAIN!
Your self-respect comes first.  Keep your dignity by knowing when to keep your mouth shut.
Peace,
Amy Zents

Make sure to enjoy a sample of original music from my band Molly and Sonny Boy's newest CD release http://www.cdbaby.com/cd/mollysonnyboy2

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