A New Yorker says, "Ay, get off my car." A Canuck says, "Get off my car, ay?"
I used to think that joke was funny, but now I think it stinks. I am very glad I grew up in Toronto, Canada. I got a lot of thrills going to theatres, museums, galleries, fine restaurants, food markets, beautiful parks, shops not to mention OHIP (Ontario Hospital Insurance Plan) and the fine metro Toronto school system, along with Ontario Place and numerous other glamourous and exciting places that I used to frequent in Toronto.
I do love New York, but I also love Canada!
I still say, "AY," all the time, now with 2 thumbs up!
Today's observatiion of my ADHD feelings and behaviors entitled, "A Spoiled Shopping Trip."
Perhaps this is paranoia, or self-confessed snobbery and not ADHD, but I often feel agitated and upset when I come home from a retail shopping expedition. Esp. when the matter concerns clothes and/or accessory shopping.
Today was one such day. I went to a store, shopped, found some cute things on clearance, and the salesperson pawed through each and everyone of my garments in slow motion, making comments about each and every garment as she went.
Her opinions were positive, and perhaps she was trying to be friendly, but it took a really long time for me to get my things, and her comments about my taste, although positive, made me feel gross, guilty and ashamed that I am getting these nice new things and she wasn't, and also very, very annoyed.
I wish she would just hold her tongue, and not tell me what she thought about my stuff.
The other thing I hate is when they keep an inky pen on the counter, and I worry it will get all over my nice new clothes!
(Another thing I hate is being kept waiting. Today I called work, and was put on hold for 10 min. I am also lacking in patience with telephones. I called back, and finally got through to my boss. Don't even get me started on online bill-pay, and automated phone calls.)
But getting back to my previous topic. Is it selfish to just want someone to ring up your purchases without comment?
I do NOT like salespeople who treat everything you own like some kind of public property that they can try on or use, drive or play with, while you are the one who is paying for the item. And I dislike those who critique and make uncomfortable remarks about the stuff I buy whether the remark is positive or negative. Am I wrong or bad to assume this? I was not raised in a commune. My sister didn't borrow my things, and if I ever breathed on her stuff or tried to take it and use it without permission there would be h*** to pay!
True story. One time, in Chicago, while buying a special sparkly winter wrap with a belt, the salesgirl went ahead and put it on herself because she liked it, and wanted me to see how she looked in it! I had just paid for it and she was wearing it!
Should I care how SHE looks in it? Why not? Perhaps it is because she is NOT the one buying it!
I don't even want to talk about how many gals who "made me" let them try on my gorgeous diamond engagement ring, and I just let them! I finally had to stop when one gal couldn't pull it off her fat finger, and it frightened me. Now I just say that I don't take my wedding rings off for any reason!
Another time I wanted to buy a lawnmower and the salesguy kicked the side of the mower to show me how tough it was. I was appalled! Needless to say, I didn't buy the mower he slammed with his boot!
I rarely, if ever, allow friends to borrow my clothes these days. For my nerves, it would be better for me if I would just give my stuff to them, but I don't want to. Why should I?
As a kid, I used to loan many of my things freely, so others would like me, but I secretly resented them for using my stuff only because I would let them. At school I remember friends never returning things I loaned them. One neighbour girl assalted me, by punching me really hard, after I asked her to return the Speedo swimsuit I'd loaned her. I never got that bathing suit back. In college, some students would borrow my textbooks only to turn them into the bookstore to get cash back so they could go party.
I was a sucker back then, all because I have ADHD, and wanted to be liked.
Nowadays, I just feel betrayed whenever people ask me to borrow my clothes and jewelry. What's worse is when they take what is not theirs without asking, automatically assuming they can borrow anything I own because they are my friend. One of my former best friends came over one time and took a walnut from the nut dish, and cracked it under her heel on the living room carpet of my family's home, leaving shells on the floor, and gobbling up the nut part in front of me. I was stunned at her audacity, but we remained friends because that kind of abuse was supposed to happen, right? NOT!
Throughout my life I've often had friends who feel entitled to try on my clothes, shoes, and accessories without asking me to do so. Maybe boundaries about other people's property weren't taught to the folks I knew. But, they were to me. I grew up in the big, bad city, by a tough German mother, where you had to mind your own business, or else suffer! Or so I believed. Truth was, even in the big, bad city, folks are curious, covetous, or plain unkind to you as well.
I am grateful to have pretty things, and I think it is a backhand compliment to me that some people like some of my stuff, but can they please leave my things alone? It would be a different story if I was grabbing their things and wearing them, or if we gave each other permission to do so, but I am not one of those types and friends who want to wear my things quickly turn into a nuisance, but not only that, they don't seem to care about making me feel guilty for saying, "No." It's hard to say no to a friend.
When it comes to annoying salesclerks, I guess I can always shop online, and keep the strangers out of my stuff. Yet, I find it hard to shop online, due to the bill pay, and such, not to mention the security risk. And let me tell you, there IS a security risk. Let the online shopper beware!
I think I will just try and go to stores when I need something, buy my stuff, and hope that the salesperson I get is not a pain, or that there is such a great line behind me there isn't time for the salesperson to monkey with me or try and make me feel guilty for buying pretty things on sale that they may have overlooked or wish for themselves to own!
I don't want to turn into that TV character MONK, or a Howard Hughes germaphobe or agoraphobe, but I do wish some folks would respect other people's stuff, and not critique or wear it without permission!
Have a great weekend,
AZ
Make sure to enjoy a sample of original music from my band Molly and Sonny Boy's newest CD release http://www.cdbaby.com/cd/mollysonnyboy2
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