I sometimes think I know all the answers for ADHD, but I was crawling in the mud again last night looking for my expensive android phone. I was getting sick with fear, I had already lost my first smart phone, a G1, and my husband loveingly bought me a new Nexus one, the smart phone I use to create my daily comic "Cole's Kibble." Last night when I couldn't find my new phone, my husband said he would help locate it, but I was ashamed at the messy place and I asked my husband to let me work things out my own way.
I tried to track it down for over an hour. I don't know how my husband knew, but he searched the truck after I did, and while I was in a mental state of frustration and anger, he found my phone under the truck seat and I was oh, so relieved!
I put it on the charger and I was still not satisfied.
I was so miserable for having misplaced my phone I felt so unworthy for having such a nice phone.
I wondered if I was sabotaging myself everyday. Crazy. ADHD can make you feel frightened and crazy.
I told my husband how thankful I was, and now I will be even more conscientious than ever.
But, I have no answers for attention-deficit. It is a daily fight to help yourself and others to stay sane.
I am certainly glad to have my emergency doctor husband to allay my fears and help me.
I wish I could be a better person, and the only way I see doing that is try and do more to make our homelife a lot more pleasant.
We have to have dinner now, so I will act a little less dopey and make some nice supper for my dear man.
He always makes me feel much better. Now we are getting ready to perform a St. Patty's day gig on Wednesday.
I want to be organized and prepared but I don't expect it will be easy.
We'll get practicing after supper. Having printer problems right now, but I am sure Jim will patiently fix that too.
Have a calm week.
Amy Zents
© Amalia Zents 2010
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