Daily Tip: Do what you have to do to make it through.

“Patience is the ability to idle your motor when you feel like stripping your gears.”~ Barbara Johnson

Most of life is work.  Sucky, yucky work.  If you have ADD/ADHD it can be dreadful to get up each morning and think about all the distasteful tasks there are to do.
Don't dwell on how awful it is to do them.
Make your daily list of mandatory tasks, and go about doing the good and not so good suff you have to do.
Then take a break and relax.
Focus on all the things you love and remember:
You did what you had to do, and you made it through.
You are a winner!
Peace,
Amy Zents

Make sure to enjoy a sample of original music from my band Molly and Sonny Boy's newest CD release http://www.cdbaby.com/cd/mollysonnyboy2

Daily Tip: A vengeful person is always going to find themselves in a fight.

Be patient and understanding. Life is too short to be vengeful or malicious. ~ Phillips Brooks

There are some folks who always want to fight.  If you saw the movie "V for Vendetta" the lead character V, sought vengeance until he was killed in his fight for "justice."
He had just cause for wanting to murder all those who unjustly imprisoned and tortured him.  But, he was a vigilante and took the law in his own hands.  He conspired to kill everyone who hurt him, leading to his eliminating even the repentant Doctor, even after he listened to her apology and her side of the story.  She knew he would come to kill her, and he did.
Most of us would empathize with V.  He lost everything but his life.  His body was burned and disfigured from top to toe, and he always had to be masked.  You pitied V, but still he was a monster!
If we practiced vengeance in our everyday life for every petty grievance others have caused us, we would wind up in a constant struggle with those who push back.  We might even lose more than our good reputation.
No one likes it when others hurt them.  The tendancy is to strike back.  That is not always the wisest thing to do.  Arrogance and meanness can only attract more of the same.
Peace and mercy are hallmarks of humane behaviors.  We can be good to those who offend and try to hurt us by being patient and understanding. 
We can also stand up for ourselves, and seek a helping hand from those who love us.
Let us be hopeful that the pain and sadness others may cause us will eventually be avenged, not by us, but by life. 
While there may not be "Instant Karma," like we might wish there would be, there is the dictum, "You reap what you sow," and that old saw, "What goes around, comes around."
The facts are, if someone is mean and selfish, you learned a lesson. 
Keep away from them!  Also, it's up to you to protect yourself from those who would jerk you around, if you can, though this is not always easy.
If you have ADD/ADHD you are particulary vulnerable to attack, so put up your guard, thicken your skin, look for those who can protect you and inspire you to be careful in social and emotional situations. 
Watch what you say and don't trust everyone, especially if you suspect they are two-faced, or don't have your best interests at heart.
If you make a mistake, you can admit it.  If you are wrongly accused, DON'T ADMIT GUILT so that others can point at you and wrongly accuse you some more.  Instead, stand up for yourself.  Take the high road, and be wise, or talk to an advisor whom you trust.  Straighten matters out before they get worse.
Remember, we all hurt each other at one time or another, but if our intention is toward reconciliation there is hope.  If there is no forgiveness, there is no hope.
Be kind to each other.
Peace,
Amy Zents
If we practice an eye for an eye and a tooth for a tooth, soon the whole world will be blind and toothless. -Mahatma Gandhi

Make sure to enjoy a sample of original music from my band Molly and Sonny Boy's newest CD release http://www.cdbaby.com/cd/mollysonnyboy2

Daily Tip: Love thy neighbour as oneself? Most people act as though they hate themselves thus zero love of their neighbour.

I was listening to Philip Marlowe private eye, on Old-time radio in an episode called the Good Neighbour Policy.  The people in an apartment flat were quite unacquainted with each other although they shared the same utilities.
How do you love your neighbour as yourself if you act as though you hate yourself and wish you could runaway from all the stressful people in your life?
Do you treat them in the same vile, wicked-tempered way you think of or treat yourself?
Do they deserve that?  Do you?
Some people utterly despise themselves and that self-disgust often makes them haters of others too.  (If the definition of hate is "to love less.")  They literally love their neighbour about as much as they love themselves which amounts to about zero love.
Especially if they have ADD/ADHD, and yet they are ashamed to admit their self-loathing and their buried resentment of others, even to themselves.  They often make nice in public, but truthfully wish they could runaway from everyone and everything that makes them feel put-down, frustrated and irritated.
As for treating others with contempt, well, there is secret blame, and when thinking of all the injustices it is easy to feel sorry for oneself.  Remember what I always say, "Self-pity is a downward spiral and the first step to failure."  Keep away from Self-Pity!  Avoid it like the plague that it is!
(I learned SELF-PITY is a big factor in most suicides.  Many call suicide, "the cowards way out.") 
You and I can be brave and face our challenges, yet try as we might to understand our troubles, it can be hard to give others their due respect or to even respect ourselves because of all of our personal misgivings, (the fact we can't find a pair of clean underwear!) and the mirror of our faults by those around us.  Others make us feel small, and we beat ourselves up on top of it.  A double-spanking!
There is no use for self-pity.
It's time to forgive, love and take care of yourself.  You may need to do this before you can even begin to love thy neighbour!
You CAN change.  You CAN get help!  You can make YOU happy.
I have to admit, I find it hard to take care of myself, much less those whom I love.
Therefore, I am trying a little more self-honesty in regards to my weaknesses (i.e. personal organization, holding my tongue, etc.)
Also, I will try and accept help from others, I will stand up for myself, and for my spouse, and in the long run for love of my neighbour.
The Internet has huge amounts of accurate information on improving one's perceived weaknesses that accompany ADD/ADHD, and you need to tap those resources, but first look at yourself in all honesty and truth and ask yourself, WHAT IS HOLDING ME BACK?
When you overcome your short-comings a little at a time you will learn to love yourself more, and then you will be able to love those around you better as well too.  And who knows, maybe they will love you back in ways you never thought of, such as, inviting you to parties, and becoming your real friend.
Peace,
Amy Zents


Make sure to enjoy a sample of original music from my band Molly and Sonny Boy's newest CD release http://www.cdbaby.com/cd/mollysonnyboy2

Daily Tip: Imperfections are part of being a perfectionist, or Perfectionism is a double-edged dagger!

The pursuit of perfection, then, is the pursuit of sweetness and light. ~Matthew Arnold

Happy Friday friend!
One thing I have discovered in my ADHD journey to self-fulfillment and a semblance of sanity in this life is this:  I am a perfectionist.
Say what????
How can someone who loses her car keys, procrastinates prolifically, attracts clutter like hair on a moose, loses every pen, pencil and paper that comes her way be a perfectionist?
Easy.  I love perfection.
When I teach music, I want to be thorough.  When I work for an employer, I want to do right.  When I learn something, I want to learn everything about it.  When I am keen on an idea, a fashion, a place, a person, I want to soak it all in and revel in my newfound passion.  I hunger for excitement and novelty, bells and whistles, gadgets and gee-gaws, newness and sparkle!
I am the impulsive shopper, the wide-eyed kid in life's candy store, the sucker born ev'ry minute.
Which for many ADD/ADHD'er's is the addictive property of the disability.
How can one resist all the wonderful attractions that life has to offer?
Sadly, the downside of a voracious appetite for various interests is that I cannot process everything in an organized and timely fashion, so life becomes one big jumble of stimulations and distractions, plus lots and lots of neglected collections and piles of stuff.
Nevertheless, one of the hallmarks of procrastinators is perfectionism.  Another one, believe it or not, is humility.  Perfectionists want to excel to please their audiences!
Momma and society drove into us the gist of this song, "If you're gonna do it, do it right!" 
So, like most Weight Watcher attendees, procrastinators begin new projects and goals with high hopes, and when they meet with frustrating circumstances, they either throw in the towel, or they quit at the starting block.  How perfect is that?  Not very.
High standards and expectations often trip us up, and life can be so overwhelming!
In my opinion it is OK to be a "perfectionist."
Sometimes we score big because of it.  We get the dream job, the dream husband, la creme de la creme, and our big dreams actually come true because we dreamt them!
When we fail, we can comfort ourselves with the thought that at least our intentions were honorable.
The truth is, I love perfectionists. 
Yes, the perfectionist is someone special to me, as long as it is someone I admire and look up to for inspiration, and NOT for criticism, or a salary.
Working FOR a perfectionist is a whole different subject altogether.
I can't march to the beat of someone else's perfectionism.  Sorry.  That just doesn't work.
One is wise to be aware that perfectionism is enhanced when it is tempered with realism. 
It is wise at times for the perfectionist to let go a little at times with family members and friends, or else risk the alienation of others and wind up disgusted with oneself.
If you are a magnificent chef, artist, singer, dancer, photographer, doctor, teacher, programmer, or whatever occupation you find you excel in, there is no harm in aspiring to perfection, or being a perfectionist.  Bravo!  You are blessing the world with a service that is incomparable to the mediocrity most experience every day. 
So don't be half-hearted in whatever you are doing, and don't be down-hearted if you find perfectionism keeps you irritated and unsettled.  If you can avoid projecting your perfectionism on others they will love you for it.  None of us wants to be under the gun of a perfectionist.  Also, perhaps you might consider striving for the middle ground to stay sane and happy, and if you find perfection cripples you, try lowering your standards a little, doing your best to begin where you are, with what you've got right now so as not to be paralyzed by fear of failure.
Remember, you can't finish something you haven't started.
So, go ahead and dream big, be perfect, (or be imperfect, ) if necessary. 
Do whatever it takes to assist you towards what you aspire to accomplishing.
I hope you feel better about your search for excellence.
Perfectionism is a double-edged dagger!

Keep doing all you can to love yourself.
You are perfect when you know imperfections are a part of being a perfectionist!
Have a wonderful, and perfect weekend!
Peace,
Amy Zents

Make sure to enjoy a sample of original music from my band Molly and Sonny Boy's newest CD release http://www.cdbaby.com/cd/mollysonnyboy2

Daily Tip: It's hard to enjoy chaos, but it's fun to procrastinate!

I think Smithers picked me because of my motivational skills. Everyone says they have to work a lot harder when I'm around. ~ Homer Simpson


If you have ADHD or ADD you have most likely discovered challenges in the “executive functions” of your brain - planning, organizing, and remembering, even though you may be very bright.
Perhaps you have found ways to cope.  That is fantastic.
For those still struggling, well, you may need to find out ways and means to deal with life's demands and your personal day-to-day responsibilities.  Most of all, you may need help with getting motivated!
No doubt, for me as well, being organized and efficient is a struggle.
If you like to plan for reasons of self-improvement or better organization (or just because planning is fun, and often a way to procrastinate!) you will find a huge amount of free templates online and lots of good information at this weblink!
http://www.diyplanner.com/

Take your meds, get your proper sleep, and form good habits now to get at least the minimal done each day, and hopefully, by planning and doing (taking the baby steps you need for success) you will eventually find a balance in life that will help you to live a less chaotic existence.
Peace,
Amy Zents
Make sure to enjoy a sample of original music from my band Molly and Sonny Boy's newest CD release http://www.cdbaby.com/cd/mollysonnyboy2

Daily Tip: Watch Your Step, and Snap Out of It for success!

“Pessimism is an excuse for not trying and a guarantee to a personal failure.”
 ~William Jefferson Clinton.

Today's post was going to be:
Daily Tip: Combat life's interruptions and distractions by disrupting negative or overwhelming obsessive thinking and avoiding substance abuse.
I know a long tip.  So, I shortened it.
Daily Tip:  Watch Your Step, and Snap Out of It for Success!

     I was listening to the Tennessee William's play, "The Glass Menagerie," this afternoon while on my daily walk.  The story was comic and tragic at the same time.  Talk about a bunch of losers with some serious issues!
     However, it was an insightful play about people living lives of quiet, and, well, not so quiet desperation!
     As ADHD'ers some of us tend to get stuck in negative thinking and pessimistic obssessive-compulsive pattens of behavior.
     We need to SNAP OUT OF IT!
     How to do that?  Well, a hint might be to disrupt the negativity when we sense we are sinking in that cesspool.  Laughter, love, comedy and refocusing on PRIORITIES with a major (Long-term) Goals list and minor (aka Short-term) Goals list that is posted prominently in a place where you can find it is good start.
     One suggestion is writing out your short-term (daily, tasks, aka goal steps) and long-term (big picture goals) on a DRY ERASE board on a wall where you can see it conveniently, then remembering to look at it often.  A reminder of your "steps," or daily task to-do's with a long-term view in mind, can help to realign the winning ADHD'er, (that means you!) with YOUR true north.
     Also, it is very important to avoid heavy drinking, and the abuse of all drugs, including finding ways and means to control the intake and obssession with that alluring oft OBESITY-INDUCING, much abused, yet necessary, substance called, FOOD.  
      Awareness of these dangers and distractions are a huge help to staying on track.
     I tend to see life and success as a series of steps.  The steps are usually going up and hard towards success, and the steps to failure are usually easy ones that will TAKE YOU DOWN.
     In Hollywood they love the TAKE 'EM DOWN tabloid stories.
     You don't want to be fodder for anyone's derision.  Neither do I, and I don't think the Enquirer or TMZ would be too interested in our problems either.
     So two things I am trying to focus on now, and I hope you will consider them as well.
     1)Watch your step, by double-checking what you need to do right now instead of worrying, and when you feel stuck on some negative pattern~
     2) Snap Out of it for success by noticing negative thoughts or harmful actions and refocusing on those priorities that are important to your success and happiness in both the short and long-term!
Peace,
Amy Zents
PS.  Take time for fun! 
Check out my newest Jibjab.
http://sendables.jibjab.com/view/sLADOOp02AmjfkEB

Make sure to enjoy a sample of original music from my band Molly and Sonny Boy's newest CD release http://www.cdbaby.com/cd/mollysonnyboy2

Daily Tip: Avoid the risk that is not fun, Melanoma.

On Monday I saw a half-naked man wearing jeans mowing hs lawn in the hot midday sun. He had no head gear on, no shirt and he was light-skinned. As I felt those screaming hot rays of the sun beat through my open truck window onto my arms and face I hoped in my heart that "Barechested Man" chose to lather his skinny bare chest, arms and back with sunscreen. I couldn't tell if he had any skin protection on, but I wouldn't bet on it.
I remembered how earlier in the day I set off the gas alarm after I sprayed my skin with bug spray AND sunscreen in my efforts to deliver the dogs to the park for their daily run in the sun, whilst protecting myself from the harm of UV's and West Nile.
How could a person like "Barechested Man" find information on skin care in the Springtime, in the middle of a heat wave, and very summerlike temps?
I think the proper education is always necessary for everyone, including "Barechested Man."  But, where to go for reliable truths on sun protection and skin care?
The Centers for Disease Control have a surplus of information on proper skin protection, and the prevention of skin cancer.
Here is where you can find some vital information:
http://www.cdc.gov/cancer/skin/basic_info/prevention.htm
Stay safe in the sun!
Amy Zents


Make sure to enjoy a sample of original music from my band Molly and Sonny Boy's newest CD release http://www.cdbaby.com/cd/mollysonnyboy2